she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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