I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
