I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
