Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
