Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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