Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
