rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
