Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
