I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
