ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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