i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
