If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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