Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
