I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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