She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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