I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
