He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
