Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
