it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
