Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
