If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
