Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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