3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
