why didn't you poke me back
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
