I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
