im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
