Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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