he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
