Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
