omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
