its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
