Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we made out on top of his cat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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