tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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