But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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