I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
