im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
