Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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