just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
