chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
