that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize