They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
