Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
