You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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