are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
