There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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