How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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