If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
