We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
