last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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