have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
