i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
