STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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